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recorded in Cambridge, MA
When I’m with friends, I wish I was alone,
but when I’m alone, I become aware of my loneliness.
I’m thinking of words to say, but I can’t mutter one,
and besides, there’s too many miles of branches between us.
The green leaves that were boring turned red in the fall,
They seemed so unique; I collected them all.
Then I hid them away, but the next day, I couldn’t recall where.
They disintegrated into soil and dust in the air.
I won’t admit to myself when I’m feeling sad and bitter cold,
let alone all my friends. I’m clenching my teeth in a smile. They can’t tell that my insides are shivering.
Why am I ashamed to let my face show sorrow?
Why am I afraid to be sad? Isn’t everyone?
The ugly red leaves turned copper in winter.
I tried to caress them; my palm got a splinter,
and I didn’t notice the life had already all dried out.
I don’t know how long it’s been this way, but I’m noticing now.
released January 1, 2016
thanks, friends, for being friends.